Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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