He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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