What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
