we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
