I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
