Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
