Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize