it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
