So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
