fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
