Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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