when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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