You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
