Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
