i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
