I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
