So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
