Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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