When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
