Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
