last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
