Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
