drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
