in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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