how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
