So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
