I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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