even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize