Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
