Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
