talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
