We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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