He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
