I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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