whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
