remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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