I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
