Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
