this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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