Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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