But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
