I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
