Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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