I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
