walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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