Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
