it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
