I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
