I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
