I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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