he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
