U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
