there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
