im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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