Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
