He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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