Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
