She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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