idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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