Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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