Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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