I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You peed on a flamingo?!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
