i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
