Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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